Author Archives: Barb Horn

Uncover and Awaken

Uncover and AwakenEmotions, opinions and actions were all over the place last week with the Supreme Court drama.  Messages were sent and rested upon willing ears depending on your own lens.  Women still don’t matter, lying is okay, a man’s privilege is threatened, it’s ok to use an individual’s real trauma as a political ploy, what you do when young (or as a man) is ok if you turn out to do some good or hold power, men can be angry and credible while a real victim women must remain composed, not be angry and have a pHD to have a chance to be heard and the list goes on.

The precedents that will be set are still unknown.  Last week was chaos.  It still is chaos.  And this is the energy of change. This is the energy of awakening and uncovering.  We are not going backwards.  It feels like we are, like things are getting worse. But this is what it is like to lift the veil, to shine light into the dark, to uncover our shadow, individually and collectively.  Events like this and all the events like them the past decade are our awakening (#metoo, #blacklivesmatter, #99percent, #keepfamiliestogether, etc.).

Awakening is painful, loud, messy, cloudy and chaotic.  The time we spend waking up versus moving forward depends on what we chose to do. It is not a time to go in hiding, be small, be quiet, hold in back or on anymore. It is a time to hold each other in love and support. To know where we are in the anger and fear and us that emotion as a catalyst for change – not continued division, blaming and shaming, position holding, black and white, right and wrong thinking. Making others wrong so you can be right or making yourself wrong so others can be right.  That reinforces status quo.

It is ‘BOTH AND’ times

The me, you and we.  Not just the me, or just the you.  How can I speak my truth and hear others?  How can I see the gift in this?  How can I stay grounded in knowing my truth, who I am and hold space for others in different places and spaces?  That which comes from within is far more powerful than anything “out there”.

I look forward to these messes specifically because they are unveiling decades and centuries of our shadows that have perpetuated systematic injustices across so many people and places.  Beliefs, paradigms and systems that have kept us from our true power as individuals and a country.

Awakening ignites three kinds of anger and there needs to be room for all three. You might experience all in one day, but it is your responsibility to know where you are and how to use the energy as a catalyst for change.  Volcanic anger, stinging anger, you hurt me so I will hurt you, raw, potent and powerful is the first anger.  It is the anger of victims, the repressed, discriminated, non-privileged, betrayed, used feel. And when they get the stage it spews forth like a volcanic eruption.  It is the anger of the perpetrator denying their role, privilege, power, force, self-righteousness, fear that spews back.  Once unveiled, that anger must be heard, that explosion used to move forward and create change or the suffering and trauma continues.  For those that can’t be angry you thrust the explosion inward and it becomes sadness, depression, anxiety and you shut down, go silent and stay small. That leads to illness and drama trauma of another kind.

Once the awakening anger is transmuted, one can rise above and witness from a higher perspective. From an evolutionary, Universal, Divine or larger perspective to inform lessons, actions, new paradigms.  The anger serves as fuel for change versus fuel to harm others and seek revenge.  The final phase is the rising up from the ashes of the dark night, the decades and centuries of darkness and living full in the light.  Knowing what you know, knowing your truth and able to give and serve others. Able to hold space for those in the volcanic anger. Able to stay grounded and be in BOTH AND energies. It is from this space we build systems that correct the injustices of our shadow past, increase our quality of life, resiliency and power as individuals and a country. Power from strength not fear.

Conscious Choices

We each have to figure out where we are in our anger and once we do, we can make conscious choices and actions to create change that aligns with our truths and collective values.

We have been in an awakening cosmic field since the 60’s, speeding up as we left the age of Pisces (the age of I or me) and entered the age of Aquarius (the age of us, who you and I are in the context of we, community, unity and our collective).  Systems (government, health, food, economy, education, environment, etc.) are all breaking down because they were built on beliefs that no longer serve us. We are witnessing and living the breakdown, aka the uncovering. It is time.  We chose to be here now.  As the breakdown and uncovering happens our opportunity is to focus on building the new, building systems, course correcting what aligns with what we know is true now.  Such as, women do matter, black lives matter, America was built on the backs, lives and souls of Native and Africans, inclusion is better than exclusion, and so on.

I offer the following breakdown of last week from the lens of change.  From the place of you knowing your power and capacity to use your emotions toward our collective truth that align with Universal Laws.  What if for a moment, we took off the labels of right and wrong, good and bad, my way or your way and saw this an part of our awakening. Those that are awake cannot turn back, we must help those that are still asleep through their awakening.

  1. Democrats and Republicans are responsible for the #hit show last week. Both are guilty of abusing the process and getting what they put out.  Both have and will use delay tactics, PR campaigns and the lives of others to win.  And both miss the point of their role.  Both operate out of fear and that never creates change. Double standards abound – and double standards deliver, you get what you put out. One party uses a ploy against the other and it is returned when power shifts.  Children in a playground.

Only a collective new vision that aligns with Universal Laws that works for the many versus the few (all connected so all included) will create change.  From this perspective the questions you ask, knowledge and wisdom you seek and dialogue you have is energetically 180 degrees different. We must put that vision forth in our mindsets, every day conversations, to our elected officials and policy makers- and not settle for less.

When we turn governing and leading our people into a sport, there are winners and losers. Government for the people by the people is not a sport mindset, it is not a game.  Rather it is a call of courage, wisdom, humility, integrity, honesty, self-reflection and the ability to see beyond your own ego and power to the collective. That kind of vision comes from the people, bottom up, working together.  What do you chose to focus your attention, intention, energy and time? What words do you use?  What is your message? Who are you talking too and who are you not talking to?

Let us not seek the Republican answer or the Democratic answer, but the right answer. Let us not seek to fix the blame for the past. Let us accept our own responsibility for the future.” – JFK

  1. Admit, reconcile and bring this truth into our paradigms, systems and processes. What was “ok” at some point in time, was never ok, ever.  It was tolerated, swept under the rug in order to save the tribe and those in power and of privilege.  Just because it was uncovered does not make it ok, “boys being boys”, “locker room behavior”.  We would in no way bring back the brutality of the Greek and Roman era’s, the Vikings, cultures that sacrificed first born, genocides, horrible acts, ways of thinking and governing that were “acceptable” in their time. They were never acceptable. They were held up by those in power and with privilege.

Be clear, any act that causes harm to another being (think of the 10 commandments) is wrong every time, independent of who is in power.  It matters what you do every minute of every day, you are sending a vibration of harm or love every breath, every decision every act.  That is how energy works. You are sending a vibration out ALL the time.  We have tools like humility, self-reflection, honesty, integrity, forgiveness, compassion, empathy, blessings for when we screw up, because we will screw up.  Just because I go on to do good things, does not take away the harm I have caused others.

“If you cannot change your mind you cannot change the world.”  “To improve is to change to be perfect is to change often.” – Winston Churchill

  1. Change our belief that only perfect people can be elected to office. Because our political system and our ability to communicate with each other is so broken, we are in a pattern of no one is fit. We will find something wrong with everyone and use it to win, not even to govern effectively. I am not interested in what someone did when they were in high school, college or as an adult. I want to know what they learned from it. What will the never do again as a result?  Who will the make sure is protected, represented, included and advocate for because they learned?  How did it change them?  How did they reflect, take responsibility, make it right and be accountable?  That inspires, that teaches, that is growth and that can lead.  We have to ask these kinds of questions, create space for these kinds of dialogues and quit using people and broad paint strokes to govern.
  2. Cultivating the ability to hold two or more beliefs or experiences at the same time, especially when one is not familiar to us. You are not likely the same person in every situation, at home, at work, at a meeting with top officials, a social gathering, at church, a wedding or a protest for example.  You are not the same person in significant ways than you were at 5, 15, 25, 35 and 55.  We hear in the news throughout history, stories of people who are two different people in the same life.  Those that embezzle money from their company but are outstanding in the local church and city council, as one example.  People are paradoxes.  Truth, everyone is capable of murder and love given the right circumstances whether you want to admit or not.

It is 100% possible Judge Kavanagh was (maybe still is) a mean, pushy drunk while simultaneously being a nice guy at work and on the bench.  It entirely possible that he is discriminatory to some people while advocates for others.  That leaves two difference experiences out there of the man, both are valid.  It is also possible Bill Cosby did horrific things to women while simultaneously raising the bar for African Americans on TV.  Different experiences of the same man.  Harvey Weinstein made great movies, ingenious in the industry, while simultaneously abusing women.  And it goes on.  We are human.  Injustices are just that, injustice and we can’t decide to only validate one experience or side of a person when it is convenient and brush other under the rug.  That is abuse of power, privilege, due process, never mind integrity, honesty and courage. Our processes need to value this reality of the human condition, especially processes that appoint our leaders.

This is a BOTH AND quality and ability.  We have to cultivate the skill to hold multiple truths at the same time versus forcing a right and wrong.  In every situation, everyone involved has their own conditioning the filters their perceptions of an experience and formulates their story. This skill requires time, due diligence and a willingness to find a solution that works for all, not just one party- it considers the whole, looks for win win not win lose.

  1. Science has documented the process and impact of trauma, including specific types of trauma such as sexual assault. Science has demonstrated and it has been shown over and over what happens to the victim.  The impact is not the same as other crimes (and it is a crime) like robbery, a shooting, embezzlement, or name your crime.  Those crimes have trauma, but the result for the victim is different your sacred body is violated against your will.

Science shows as a survival mechanism a victim “leaves” the memory and can’t speak of it (for many reasons we need to fix) and that memory can be, often is later in life. Doctor Ford gave a great example of this, and her experience is not unique it is the norm.  A victim may lose insignificant details but never ever forgets some detail to cope.  That is the brain on trauma, yours, mine and everyone’s.  These assaults more often than not do not have a witness.  And both likely experience the entire event different.  We are uncovering the systematic rape culture in this country and acknowledging how trauma changes the brain is valid and credible and needs to equal weight in proceedings.  Science debunks all myths about these assaults and rape.  The myths are only in place to keep the status quo and those in power.  Myths include, she asked for it, why didn’t she tell anyone, her memory is not reliable, she could have gotten help, etc. You know it is a myth when it points to the victim and away from the perpetrator. This joins all the other myths we are debunking as we wake up.

  1. We teach hate, domination, exclusion and discrimination systematically in this country every day while we condemn other countries for doing the same thing. This is a large topic and I will focus on how elite schools do this.  There are many things elite schools (boarding, private, etc.) do that are good and contribute to society.  However, for this one thing they do horribly I would get rid of all them and invest those resources and intentions in our public schools and teachers.  Pay teachers a living wage, put teachers on pedestals before athletes and movie stars.  Put our money where our mouth is regarding our children and a desired future for them.  Wouldn’t it be great if we didn’t’ need special elite schools because our public schools were so amazing (and I think many are given the support they have)?

The one horrible thing elite schools convey, teach, embed, support and protect is elitism.  Elite means I am better than you. That violates a Universal Law that no one is inherently better than another.  We all have something to contribute.  A great education is a universal right. And we are better together (scientifically proven as well).

The “I am better than you” is a culture and translates into “because I am better than you I can dominate you, in fact I must dominate you because I am superior to you and know what you need and you are at my disposal, you are here for me to use to get higher on the ladder at all costs. At all costs encourages dishonesty, disrespect, irresponsibility and lack of accountability and integrity that is ok and approved.  The end justifies the means, every time.  Sexual assault, lying, cheating, stealing, abuse, entitlement, discrimination are all products of a culture of “I am better than you.”  These institutions think they have something to lose by being inclusive so they are exclusive at the detriment to their own goals.  These schools are part of the problem and need to change their culture and that starts by changing their paradigm or beliefs.

Children brought up to learn and earn respect, honesty, integrity, service, learn from their mistakes, value self-reflection and others will do well and grow up to contribute to society no matter what their schooling (plenty of examples).

  1. Our current culture (the past two decades) brought partisanship to the last of the three segments of government, the Supreme Court. The Court, Senate, House and all of us need to fix this now. Ideas are already on the table including to not have life time appointments, have terms be counter to political elections cycles and have a duration of impact less than a life time, say 10-15 years but not a life time.  This is solvable if there is the courage to fix it.
  2. Men get off your high horse, you don’t need to be afraid, you need to get real. Change your story to the truth, you are not losing anything. You are gaining clarity, boundaries and true power.  It is not rocket science, here are simple tips:
  • Find a mentor. There are plenty of men who are not afraid to be masculine (strong) and real.  That means they are strong enough to feel all their feelings, self-reflection, humility, integrity and compassion.  They are not afraid to be accountable and responsible all in spite of their conditioning, culture and perhaps teachers that taught them otherwise.  They have shown up willing to grow and change and align with their truth instead of others agendas, stories and ways of being and thinking.  Find one and ask to be their student.
  • Respect yourself. When you respect yourself.  Respect doesn’t give you permission to step on others, in fact the opposite.  Respect means you understand that what you do to others you first do to yourself.  Every time.
  • Find humility, forgiveness and compassion. You can’t know what it is like to be sexually assaulted unless you have been.  But you can learn, empathize, understand, advocate and help change a system that perpetuates it.  That includes owning your own deeds and forgiving yourself and right the wrongs starting today.
  • Don’t ever show your private parts to anyone unless they ask. Ever.
  • Don’t ever touch, kiss, hold down, corner, constrain, undress or anything similar to anyone without their permission. Which means ask every time, never assume. Which means no means no in all the direct and indirect ways no is communicated.  Think of a women or girl you adore. If you don’t want anyone doing to them against their will what you are doing to someone (or did) – then you are already in assault land. No matter what you were taught, no matter who is cheering you on, no matter how sober or drunk you are.
  • Know your limits. If you can’t control yourself when drunk, or with “those friends” or in some situation, get out, don’t go, don’t drink. Be brave enough to know yourself and act in accordance. That is what personal responsibility means (versus blame a victim).
  • And if you know you are guilty of assault in your past. Begin the process of admission and healing yourself first and then reach out to your victims. It is never too late. It helps no one to stay in hiding, least of all yourself. Be part of the solution that aids your own healing – and that of the planet.

Carolyn Myss states “If you have no sense of your Shadow, you will live as a victim. You’ll have no alternative because you will see the world from the position that everything is coming at you and you have no power.”

We are not going backwards, we are awakening and uncovering.  You don’t have to solve all the disasters and heartbreaks in the world.  You are not in charge of others anger, grief and path.  Witness it. Feel what you feel.  Take right action for you.  And always remember love is where you live.

Change Your ‘Personal Connection’ to ‘Sacred Connection

Welcome to my blog series on change.  I am exploring change to become comfortable in the uncomfortable, to accept the reality that all things are constantly changing.  Each of these blogs stands alone and also builds on previous posts.  The first in the series was “Embracing Change: Do You?” and a free podcast introduced the four powers to navigate change.  The second in the series was “The Story of Change” and helped you identify your relationship with change and the third was “The Journey of Change” invited you to explore ways to embrace the constant of change.  Sometimes I add topics in between like when my best friend “Spirit” transitioned over the rainbow bridge after 17 years at my side, “Dancing with death and rebirth” and “The prisons we create ourselves”.   Find all blogs and free podcasts on each topic here.

Now that we have explored your relationship to change it is time to connect to it.  The four tools to navigate change are connection, truth, courage and vision.  We explore connection with the topics of faith (last blog), personal sacred connection, creating a relationship with sacred, trust and open heartedness.

Connection is a state of being linked or joined together. The root of the word is Latin meaning “a binding or joining together”.  Here we explore our own ways of connecting to sacred.  And it is good to know there is no right or wrong way, just your way.  There are as many ways a there are people, the only thing that matters is it works for you – you feel a connection to the sacred.  If you feel uncomfortable to a practice or experience, take some time to explore why and assess if it is because it challenges an old assumption that no longer serves you are whether it is because the practice is not right for you.  I invite you to try lots of different practices and methods for creating a sense of sacredness or an awareness of spirit.  I provide practices to try below.

Shamanic Journeying

Shamanic journeying is an ancient spiritual practice that is used all over the world.  It is called journeying because the practitioner travels to the Spirit World, meeting with their guides and other spirits to access healing and knowledge.  This may sound strange to us in our modern societies, but ancient peoples, as well as modern people that live in cultures which haven’t forgotten this knowledge, know that there are two worlds – the physical world that we live in during the day and the other, non-physical world that we can visit in our dreams and go to when we die.  By journeying to this other world in a more conscious way, rather than in our sleep, we are able to work with Spirit more directly, to interact, learn and find solutions to our problems.  . .

Journeying is usually taught in person during a workshop or when working with a shamanic practitioner, but it is possible to learn the basic method through a book.  If this appeals to you I recommend you find an experienced teacher who can show you the various ways and maps of the Spirit Worlds.

To make your first shamanic journey, you will need to choose a time and place where you will not be disturbed, and have a drumming CD or mp3 and your journal.  It is effective to sit up so you don’t fall asleep.  Set your sacred space that suits you and allow yourself to feel how the room around you changes as you become aware of Spirit all around you.  Welcome and thank the Sacred for coming to you and ask it to hold the space around you safely and to guide you.

For this first journey it is important your intent is to meet a guide for to assist in your journey practice and to establish a relationship with them so you can explore this new modality safely and effectively.  With your intent in your mind, begin drumming, close your eyes and take in the beat of the drum. Feel the sound pass through your body.  Breathe gently and naturally, releasing tension and focus your intent on the journey to the Spirit World.

As you listen you may being to feel different sensations, your body may feel as though it is drifting, or you might feel like you are shaking or moving even though you are not. These sensations are different for everyone, let them come and go and keep your mind on your destination – the Spirit World.

You are going to a place that is just for you. It is a place that you have been to before, in your physical life, but now you are going in spirit.  Allow the image of that place to form in your minds eye,; see the ground beneath you, hear the sounds all around you, feel the warmth of the sun on your skin.  Take a deep breath and look around. Notice how this place is the same but different than what you know in the physical world.

Allow yourself to relax into this awareness and bring your mind back to your intent for this journey- to meet a Journeying Guide who will help you learn about this practice.  You can call out for the guide or you might find the guide is already waiting for you when you arrive.  When you see sense or feel someone near you, be open to their form and allow yourself to focus on them so that their details become clearer to you.  Take in how they make you feel as well as how they look. Do they feel right, do they feel good to be around?  Do you feel like you recognize them in some way already?  If so, speak to them and ask them if they are your guide.  Then listen for their answer- you may hear it, sense it, feel it or see it in a symbol for example, or you may simply know.  If they don’t feel right, turn away from them and keep calling for your guide to come to you until you see or sense someone that you do feel comfortable with, or end the journey and come back another time.

Once you have made contact, you can establish a relationship what them by asking what their name is and how they would like to work with you.  Thank them.  Take time to become familiar with their energy and know they appear to you so you can begin to recognize them on every journey. Stay as long as you like, enjoy the beauty of place and when you want to return simply call yourself back to your body.  Allow the Spirit World to slip away and feel yourself back in your physical body and space in current time.  Do whatever you need to get and stay grounded and journal on your experience.

Practice Working with Altars

Altars are symbolic spaces; when we create an alter we are really creating a place for us to step out of our everyday lives and experiences our relationship with life and the Sacred in a more soulful way.  An altar can be for general communion with Spirit, or it can be a place where you interact with a specific energy or archetype such as the land, your home, your marriage or an angel or guide. .

To create an altar for your connection with the Sacred, you will need a collection of small objects that represent the Sacred and your relationship to it, such as candles, flowers, pebbles, seeds, gemstones, poetry, images and figurines, and an out of the way place where you can arrange the objects without them being disturbed, windowsills, radiator shelves, cabinets, gardens are some examples.

Once you have a space and objects, create a sacred space in a way that works for you.  Call out to Sacred to be there with you, ask it to hold the altar and be with you when you come to work with it, paying attention to any sensations or ideas that come to you as Spirit enters the space.  Then arrange the objects you have chosen in a way that feels meaningful.  There is no right way. Altars reflect your relationship back to you in a concrete, visible way so that you can work with it more consciously.

You can work with an altar for a set period of time, a week, month or year or time of day. Alternatively you can go to your altar when you feel called, a more fluid part of your day rather than a routine.  The important thing is that you spend time with your altar with the intent that you created it- in this case to connect with Sacred and become familiar with your relationship to it.  When is time to dismantle, than Spirit for being in the space for you and working with you. Take all objects down and close the sacred space and clean all objects and the area.

Practice Creating Ceremonies

Ceremony is another ancient spiritual practice that is used all over the world.  It can have many forms and intents, from healing to worship to divination to celebration.  For our purpose here we will define ceremony as a formal action witnessed by the Sacred – something you do with a set purpose and format and that you call on Spirit to be present when you do it.

An example would be planting a tree with the intent to give back to the earth.  To make it a ceremony, you would say a prayer before and after the planting, telling Spirit why you were doing it, and you would including something symbolic, such as scattering offerings beneath the roots or typing a pray flag to the trunk.

Ceremony is a wonderful way to connect with the Sacred, and can be as personal and meaningful as you went to make it.  It allows you to step out of the ordinary rhythm of our lives and into the sacred space of ceremony.  We create an intentional and safe places in our lives to be open to the Sacred.

Let your heart and intuition guide you in creating ceremonies – it knows your needs.  Notice and include how you feel, how your body reacts to different ideas and utilize all your senses, honor all feelings.  Be clear on what you are doing and why.  Ceremonies can be very simple, fluid and open to change or complex.  Simple examples are light a fire, swim in a lake, eat a meal, pour a glass of wine into the sea, change your name, scatter flowers in the wind, walk over burning coals, sit in silent darkness or sign a song.

Once you have an action and intention, chose a place and time. The more charged you are the more powerful and potent the ceremony will be.  Bring intention to the preparation as well as the ceremony itself.  And then notice the following days and weeks, in your dreams and what crosses your path, inside t will be with you whether you are aware or not.

Practice Working with Medicine Objects

Medicine Objects are personal, symbolic objects that represent specific aspects of our souls and our relationship with the Sacred.  A medicine object can be anything, but they tend to be one of a number of traditional items such as drums, rattles, stones, feathers, sacred jewelry and carvings.

A medicine object is like a bridge – through it we can directly and personally work with any aspect of ourselves, our environment, or Spirit to bring about greater knowledge and healing. Without medicine objects, our relationships with our spirit guides and spiritual practices can b become ungrounded and stuck in a mental understanding, which means that we cannot benefit from their full power.

Creating a medicine object is distinctly a personal process. Many people simply realize that they already have one, such as a special necklace they have worn every day for years.  Other people find their medicine objects, feeling a call to work with an object without an understanding of why or how they made the connection.  It is also possible to call for a medicine object – asking with our intent, often in ceremony, for an object to come to us to help us with a particular struggle or aspect we want to work with. Our guides can also gift us a symbolic medicine object we find later in the physical world.

Since this is a blog about change, if you wanted to work with the part of yourself that is comfortable and thrives in change, create a ceremony and ask Spirit to send you an object that represents this aspect.  Working with these objects can happen in the process of finding them, having them ground us in their qualities or asking questions and guidance in a sacred manner.

Practice Gratitude

Gratitude is a wonderful practice for finding and nourishing our spiritual connection that is practiced by millions.  Any time we give thanks and appreciation for something in our lives, we are practicing gratitude.

Spend five minutes every day and give thanks for everything you enjoy in your life that day.  Most often that list is external things, such as shelter, a job, family, partner, food to eat, etc.  Add to this list what you are grateful for yourself that day.  That could be something you did or accomplished, a quality you have been cultivating (like patience or listening), something you didn’t do or didn’t say or did show courage or boldness.  Gratitude for yourself is loving yourself, which is required to love others and receive love from others.

Gratitude is Sacred. It literally changes the electricity in our bodies and minds and is an exceptionally powerful tool to consciously move from a lower vibration such as anger, depression or stress to a higher vibration, and closer to Sacred in doing so.

Practice Music

Music is a beautiful and gentle way to open yourself to Spirit and experience the various tones of your connection. Begin with music that is emotional for you, that elicits a strong feeling in your body.  Anything can work, and the music that works best will change depending on your well-being, mood and perspective at the time.  This is your connection so chose what works for you, not what others might say should work.

Practice Poetry

Poetry is a translation of the feelings and truths of the soul into words.  Language is almost always a mental matter, expressing ideas, reason and limited percepti9n, but in poems words can become doorways to the realm of spirit.  Any poetry can be soulful.  Choose poets that take your breath away, surrounding you in a bubble of stillness, and read them at a pace that is comfortable so that they can resonate fully.

Explore how different voices make you feel, and pay close attention to your inner senses as you read.  Poems can invite spirit to you.  Reading poetry as a means to opening your connection to Spirit is something you can do anywhere – on a train, in the bath, or walking in a park.

Practice Silence

Silence is an age old spiritual practice used in almost all traditions.  In silence, we can no longer hide from ourselves, our minds must face their own patterns and habits, and we are isolated form a lot of what distracts us from the Sacred during everyday life.

To practice silence, you don’t have to go to a mountain or a temple.  The mundane noises of the world around us – the traffic, children across the street, and the hum of electrical appliances- are part of the silence when you turn within.  The most powerful way to find silence is to listen for it in your heart, at the center of things. Meditation is a form of practicing silence, if you do not have a destination or goal when meditating, other than to get silent. If this interests you, find a meditation teacher, CD or program to start.

Take the time to explore this practice with the intent to connect to the Sacred.  Choose a comfortable place and turn your attention within.  Simply be quiet and listen.  Thoughts will come and go, distractions might occur and that is fine. Just listen, notice the silence underneath it all. Invite Spirit to join you and be open.

Practice Movement

Movement can be anything from dancing to jogging to a martial ar, it doesn’t have to be yoga.  When we move our bodies it is easier to get out of our heads and notice where we are.  Try anything that makes you smile, feel alive or joyful.  As you move, allow your thoughts to settle and turn your focus to your body, how does it feel?  How does it want to move?  Leg your body tell you what it wants to do and see how that makes you feel.

Once you have connected to your body, give yourself permission to feel the space around you. Let yourself feel from your center and then call for Spirit to be with you as you move.  Notice the subtle sensations you get with Spirit is present.  How do they change as your movement and mood change as well. Remember to go at your pace and allow the experience to come naturally.  If it doesn’t feel right don’t do it.

Practice Art

Artwork is another way that we translate the knowing of soul into something that can be consciously seen and felt.  Like poetry it is a powerful way of connecting to the sacred in a way that transcends our thoughts.

You can enjoy others art or try expressing your experiences of spirit on paper, doodling, clay, collaging with images, singing or writing. Allow the feeling of connection to guide your hands. Call the divine as you work and be open to what shows up.

Practice Community

Community is created when a group of people come together with a common intent.  Just a groups can be destructive, they can also have great power for healing and sacred communion.  Explore how you feel around different communities, each one will have an effect on your ability to connect and open to Spirit. Notice whether you laugh more or less, how your heart feels or doesn’t. Be prepared to go outside your comfort zone and try new things.  Your soul might be nourished be a cooking class, climbing group or a service or volunteer group.  Just remember to pay attention to how you feel and your awareness of the Sacred as you explore.  Create your own community with this intention!

 

There are so many ways to connect with the Sacred, more than anyone could list.  That is the beauty of our unique souls, our experiences will be individual. Trust your own experiences, your heart knows who you are and where you are on your journey.  Try new things, the heart likes that too, change is natural!

The Prison We Create Ourselves

Happy New Year, Chinese New Year and soon astrological New Year.  Each New Year brings the hope of change as well as the fear of more of the same.  If we are not conscious and deliberate we can be along for the ride.

No one has escaped the cosmos energies working us these past few years. No doubt about it we are all individually and collectively cultivating our intuition, relationship with Spirit and ability to be comfortable with the uncomfortable and unknown.  Many are waking up – and for them the primary emotions are denial, anger and that biting scorpion stinging energy.  Others of you are able to rise above and see a larger perspective. You make not like – but understand there is no such thing as chaos in the Universe. Everything is in order it is just out of our ability to see that larger continuum of time and space and order.  And still others have been in the dark night of the soul and have risen out of it a new person, transformed.  Over the past years you likely have been in all three of these energies at some point.  All this aligns with how the cosmos is moving us towards a paradigm shift from the “I” in the Age of Pisces to the “we”, community and unity in the Age of Aquarius.  How much suffering occurs and when we arrive is up to us.

Love Being Here

You chose to be here, in these times right now. I continue to say, this are truly amazing times and I LOVE BEING HERE NOW.  The possibilities for universal change are at their peak and I am loving the ride, however bumpy.  The last time Pluto (transformation) was where it is was during the American Revolution. The last time Neptune (Spirituality) and Uranus (Awakening were where they are was in the 60’s.

Absolutely everything that needs to come up for healing and transformation is, for you individually and collectively. And it isn’t pretty.  We are ready for it to come up. And it requires people like our president, our congressmen and senators, exposure of the privileged and yes, destruction of our planet and many people suffering. The latter is a consequence of decades, centuries of being asleep.  It is part of the cosmos and Universe actually returning to balance, not moving more toward chaos – as it feels most days.  The deeper the sleep the more it takes to wake up.

It is easy to drop into despair and hopelessness, or hide and stay busy so you don’t have to hear or do anything, a moving paralyses.  We wish others would deal with it. That is a normal reaction, it just can’t be your dominate reaction. The distraction of “out there” chaos can rob of us of our own chaos coming up for healing. Our own shadows, ill ways and beliefs that cause separation and division-from our self first and then Spirit and others.

Soul Stamina

It requires soul stamina to face the way we hurt ourselves and others, regardless of intentions, directly or indirectly.  That we in our own ways have been blind to years and decades of systemic harm that has kept many poor, under-served and left out, while providing us with a leg up.  It requires soul stamina for me to identify and own my own biases that separate me from others – and I don’t care how good you are, you have them.   It requires soul stamina to love yourself anyway. To love humanity – all of it, the haters and lovers anyway.  It requires soul stamina to get out of your own prison – thoughts, beliefs, behaviors, habits, systems you have and engage that separate you from the collective. Something only you can do.

The solutions to every problem, pain, challenge, crises and issue we are experiencing EXISTS.  We don’t need to create anything new – that is good news.  All we have to do is focus on vibrating UP to the level of those solutions and spread them.  help others vibrate up.  We do live in the best time in history as it relates to health, life expectancy, opportunity and overall life quality.  We forget how far we have come and use the gratitude for what we have right now to build what we need tomorrow.  We enter the year of the Brown Earth Dog, in which we will be asked to cultivate the qualities of, such as being grounded (or knowing when you aren’t), sustained focus on what serves the whole, health and communication.

Live in the Question

To vibrate up, means we stay awake and exercise choice. We always have a choice. The power lies in what you chose to focus and prioritize.  How you chose to manage your emotions, energy, thoughts, beliefs and actions – they are not who you are, just expressions of you. To live in the possibility means you live in the question, always asking questions that move you toward lightness, which is how you know it is the right question- asking it feels light. So keep asking questions until you find the light one.  Where will you put your focus?  To what will you devote yourself to this year?  What could be so risky and bold that you could bring all of you to it every day?  What mindset would that take?  How will you live in possibilities and questions? What habits do you need to start or stop to manage your productivity, energy, emotions, thoughts and health -so you are available for yourself and others?

Whatever your choice don’t act on it unless it feels like it will free you from your own prison.  I look forward to navigating this amazing world we live in this year. Let’s begin:

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Change Connection and Faith

Welcome to my blog series on change.  I am exploring change to become comfortable in the uncomfortable, to accept the reality that all things are constantly changing.  Each of these blogs stands alone and also builds on previous posts.  The first in the series was “Embracing Change: Do You?” and a free podcast introduced the four powers to navigate change.  The second in the series was “The Story of Change” and helped you identify your relationship with change and the third was “The Journey of Change” invited you to explore ways to embrace the constant of change.  Sometimes I add topics in between like when my best friend “Spirit” transitioned over the rainbow bridge after 17 years at my side.   Find all blogs and free podcasts on each topic here

Now that we have explored your relationship to change it is time to connect to it.  The four tools to navigate change are connection, truth, courage and vision.  We will explore connection in the next few blogs starting with faith.

Connection is a state of being linked or joined together. The root of the word is Latin meaning “a binding or joining together”.  We connect pipes and wires to allow water, information or energy to flow through them.  We can connect with other people, meaning we feel somehow touched by another, understanding them and their point of view.

We can have a connection as a way to move forward, traveling or making a journey such as a flight or train connection.  And we can make a connection in our minds, becoming aware of something that was previously lost or unconscious.

All of these are illustrations or examples of being linked to something, allowing flow both to and from us.  Feeling personally touched  and having a sense of understanding of what’s beyond ourselves, being able to move forward and make our journey, and finding awareness of something we have lost, are all part of having a sense of connection in our lives.

We look for this sense of connection, whether we are making love or playing team sports, making money or raising children, it is part of what defines the human journey.  In relationship to change and how we feel about it, connection is an anchor that we can rely on in the midst of the storm, when everything around us is moving and transforming, our sense of connection can be a source of peace and power, something we know we can rely on.

Connection this way comes from having a personal relationship with what we will call the Sacred. I don’t necessarily mean God, Goddess or external being, but the essential nature of creation of reality- and what that means to you.  It might mean God, Universe, Great Spirit, Divine or any infinite names – as many as there are people relating to it.

The Sacred

The Sacred is what we can all feel beneath the world around us, or beyond it.  It exists in the silence that lies behind all sound, and while many people experience it as a sentience or consciousness, many others experience it as energy, a sense of love, truth or light, with no sense of it being an entity at all.  This is because our relationship with Sacred is unique and personal.  We can’t experience the Sacred through anyone else’s life, only our own perspective and individual lens.

To build a relationship with the Sacred then that is real and meaningful, we must experience it in our own way, directly and intimately.  We can’t build a sense of connection and relationship with Sacred through reading about it and listening to others experiences.  We can learn how they built it, experienced it.  You can’t buy it either, you may find it in yoga, meditation, rock climbing, music, dance, cooking or gardening, it can be elusive and subtle.  To actually have that sense of connection in our own lives we have to create a direct personal experience and build it ourselves.

Invite Sacred into your life and your awareness to actively providing opportunities for it to appear.  It will show up and one day, if you have not already, you will feel its’ presence.

Faith

Faith is the ability to hold space for the Sacred in our lives, despite never having seen or felt it before.  We have to be open to the Sacred, without knowing how or when it will appear to us, so that we can experience it personally and directly for ourselves in the way that we need it.

Perhaps it is like going through life with a very old friend, and this friend is always there beside us. But we cannot see them – we are too focused on the outer world, what we are doing and what we are thinking.  We have forgotten them.  It is not until we sit down and take some time out that we may even remember that our friend exists.  But when we do, we begin to look for them, maybe to call for them.  This is the moment we can finally open our eyes and see them- right beside us, where they have always been.

The Sacred is like that old friend: it cannot force us to pay attention to it and we cannot force a memory of it or to open our eyes. The Sacred can’t leave us- it is the essence of life itself, it’s just that we can forget it is there. Once we open ourselves again and become aware again we feel its constant presence again.

We must be willing to try new things to have a personal experience of the Sacred and be open to new feelings.  We must want to have an experience first and foremost. There are infinite ways to create space for ourselves to open to Sacred.  I will list some here, but know there are many others in this blog series and out there and even better create your own. There are no wrong ways, only your way. Follow your heart and listen to the yearning of your soul.

Create a Sacred Space

Simply create a defined place and time where the mundane concerns of life can fall away and you can open your eyes to the sacred, safely, comfortably and predictably. You call out to Sacred to be with us when you open a sacred space simultaneously opening yourselves to be present and aware of how we are relating to Sacred.

You can call on Sacred or Spirit with prayer, chant, music, silence, lighting candles or incense, rattling or singing.  As long as you mean it, the mechanism to call Sacred doesn’t matter. Choose a place you won’t be disturbed and can relax and focus your breathing.  Let the world fade.  Here is a prayer, calling to the directions if that is helpful:

I call to the Spirit of the South,

Come and be with me.

I call to the Spirit of the West,

Come and be with me.

I call to the Spirit of the North,

Come and be with me

 I call to the Spirit of the East,

Come and be with me

I call to the Spirit of Earth and Sky,

Come and be with me

I call to the Spirits of my ancestors, my guides and teachers,

Come and be with me

I call to the Great Spirit (insert your name),

Come and be with me

Welcome and be open.  Close the Sacred space by thanking it and then release it, knowing it will be with you whether you are aware or not.

 

Follow Your Heart

Think about the things you are most passionate about in your life, not by duty or obligation but truly make you feel alive in your heart and present.  Then notice how that topic feels in your body – is there lightness, buzzing or sensations?  Do you feel like laughing, smiling or expressing something?  Are you quiet and peaceful?  How does your heart feel?  Build this practice connecting with your heart, which is Sacred.

 

Be Alone

When alone you can connect with Sacred. No need to meditate or visualize anything, simply be present and listen to the world around you with all senses. Then listen to the world within you. Be present without any focus or agenda. Then call Spirit to join you. Notice any changes you feel. Still feel alone? How does the space around you feel when you close your eyes?  Are you more or less aware of your internal chatter and feelings?

By learning the difference between how you feel when you are on your own in a mundane way and how you feel when you are alone but focused on Sacred, you can begin to recognize how the Sacred feels and affects you. As you spend more time doing this the difference will become more apparent, the subtle sensations and emotions become recognizable.

Community

Participating in community can connect you to Sacred. For some going to church, clubs, games or events can be so important – to be in that community where everyone is connected to each other, when one person connects to Sacred the group experiences the Sacred.

The type of community is not as important as long as it is one that speaks to your heart and leaves you feeling open and joyful.  Pay attention to the sensations and feelings you experience as part of the group. How does your body feel moment to moment?  How does your perception of life and of yourself shift as you spend time with other people?  What is it that you enjoy about being here and participating?

Again, noticing contrast with these experiences with your everyday life will tell you about your relationship to the Sacred and how it expresses through you.  When you can recognize that you can see them for what they are – a taste of experience of your own connection, unique, personal and changing.

Nature

The non-human world is a wonderful place to connect to the Sacred. The spirits of animals, plants and the elements are always aware of their connection to the greater whole and can teach us a lot about being in harmonious relationships.

Find your favorite place or discover one, it can be in your back yard, a park or anywhere nature feeds you.  Take time to sit quietly and admire the beauty of nature.  Allow all senses to experience nature. Allow your mind to fall away and get lost in nature and immerse in experience.  Recognize how you feel inside when you do.  Call for the Sacred to be with you and remember the sacred lives in all things.

Try any of the above or create your own way, try several ways and new ways. . You are looking for a personal experience, so pay attention to what feels best to you and let your inner knowing guide you.  Don’t                                    worry if it takes time. Sacred is a powerful thing to witness, gradual is okay.  Enjoy the process and allow these new experiences to unfold.  Sacred has its own schedule and we can’t force it.  Be open to how experiences make you feel. There is no wrong way, only your way.  The key is to start. Will you?

 

Dancing with Death and Birth Simultaneously

Welcome to my blog series on change.  Each of these blogs stands alone and also builds on the previous content.  The first in the series was “Why Change” and a free podcast introduced the four powers to navigate change.  The second in the series was “The Story of Change” and helped you identify your relationship with change and the third was “The Journey of Change” invited you to explore ways to embrace the constant of change. .  Find all blogs and free podcasts on each topic at www.allembracingchange.com I interrupt the series with this edition.

Six months into 2017 and I feel like I have been the soak and spin cycle of a washing machine.  I have been asked, forced and relegated to loss and letting go. Not necessarily big losses if I was to list them, but for me emotional, symbolic and challenging.  All this loss and change simultaneously occurring with new birth.  New relationships, perspectives, acceptance, stories and projects.  Loss always makes room for new.  The loss and the new are both changes.   Some changes I initiated and have been working on for years, others were a surprise.  I have lost bosses, roles, status, vehicles, relationships, power, control, health, resiliency, predictability and security.  At the same time, I gained strength, vision, intuition, insight, focus, creativity, security, courage, acceptance, confidence, clarity and persuasion.

As I write this, I am in the middle of accepting a big loss, the transition of my 17-year-old dog, Spirit.  Dancing with the loss of her physical presence, rituals and habits and the predictability of her being by my side.  Accepting her spiritual presence as a replacement for that physical presence, wanting it to be as tangible.   I am in the middle of remembering all her rich gifts while she was alive, not wanting to forget any one of them, including how she was teaching all the way through her transition.   I am in the middle of accepting that my mom is moving to assisted living (in good health on her terms).  It is time for her to make this move and for me means letting go of the “home” she held for the family for 50 years.  I am in the middle of letting go of my role and identity I created over 30 years helping others save their rivers.  In addition, I am birthing my oracle, inspirational and healing modalities for others as my future path.  I am so excited where I headed and cannot wait to spend more time there – and I am not there yet.  The push and pull, the tension, the expansion and contraction, the messiness, the unpredictability and the uncomfortable.  The heavy heart mixed with the light heart.  The stories I need to let go of and those that I want and need to share.  My change story challenged every day this year.

Change brings up the dance with our Big Me and Little Me.  The Little Me is that part of us that is ego driven, gets plugged into drama and trauma and procrastination,  The part that hangs on and can dilute our life energy and keep us from our passions, purpose and heart connections.  Big Me, doesn’t avoid drama and trauma, accepts it is part of being human, but doesn’t plug into it.  Big Me for example, looks forward to the judgement of their nemesis, or whomever is “not doing what I need”, because Big Me can see it for what it is.  Big Me can see what is our stuff to own and what is others to give back or release.  Big shows up, knows what she knows, knows when to speak up and when to be silent. Big Me trusts what they know, and speaks her truth with love and lets others be in their strength or in their drama without plugging in.  From that Big Me space you can integrate the large perspective into the needs of Little Me.

Big Me asks things like “will it matter in three years?”, “does this feel light or heavy – what will make it feel light?” , “what question can I ask that feels light versus heavy?”, “what am I making so valid and important about _______”, “what am I not seeing that if I saw would change everything”.   Big Me lives in the question and possibility.  Little Me lives in right wrong, good bad, win loose, my way or highway energy.  Big Me is in the long game of life not the limitations of the moment. Big Me understands that change is always happening and it is through change “this too shall pass”, how can I choose to have it pass empowered and move closer to my purpose and desires?

Navigating change is  “both / and” integration of Big Me and Little Me perspectives – but leading, deciding, taking action from Big Me energy.  Spirit told me before she passed that we were both going through transition just different ones and we would still be together communicating differently.  She told me she had been my therapy dog and believed she was successful and thus my life had to be successful too.  She told me I was “emotion smart”, could read a room of people and it often overwhelmed me but that was a gift – not debilitating. She told me she is ready and I am ready.  She did not take anything personally in her life.  Events just were, any hardship she faced she said that was then, and this is now she moved on.  She was matter of fact about all of these things while steadfast in her love, devotion and loyalty.  She has instilled in me lessons about not only living with change but looking forward to change by embracing all the emotions, uncertainty, anxiety, grief, fear, excitement, curiosity and a matter of fact view (it is going to happen anyhow).  That give allows me to choose to redirect my attention to the possibilities of what is next.  Where will you chose to focus your attention?

Next in this series we will explore “Connection” and change, the first of all tools to navigate change.