Category Archives: Woo Woo Breakdown

There is saying in my field, permission to resist is permission to process. This is a wise statement.  Physically, energetically, mentally and spiritually you cannot allow and resist at the same time.  It is impossible.  There are many illustrations of this.  Let’s start with physically. Put your hand up against another person’s hand, as if you were going to high five, but instead just match up palms and fingers.  Now, one of you push.   The other person has a choice to either push back, resist the force or allow the force to move your hand.  You cannot do both period. You either allow or resist, there is no in between.

This is what happens energetically, mentally and spiritually.  You cannot allow and resist and the same time period.  What does resistance look like for you?  When you are resisting a change, a behavior, decision or choice that will move you forward, perhaps into the unknown, out of your comfort zone but you know it is good for you, the right thing to do for you but still you resist.  Perhaps that looks like avoidance, apathy, staying real busy and on the move, allowing distractions or getting everything else done.  It may sound like doubt, rationalization (I will wait until x, if I had x then y, I can’t until x), excuses, even projecting blame, shame, guilt, doubt and shoulds on to others.  It may feel like fear, doubt, guilt, self judgement, confusion, self-pity or similar.  You are telling the Universe to give you more of what you are resisting.  You know what your resistance looks, sounds and feels like if you stop and ask.  It doesn’t feel good ever, it is disempowering.

While you are resisting you cannot allow.  As such, the very thing you want will never arrive, the Universe is giving you what you are vibrating, which is whatever you are resisting.   Resistance is not good or bad, it just is and when it comes up it is a gift.  It is showing you where or what you need to look at in order to get where you want or what you want.  You can’t by pass what you need to heal, transform, change, educate or update and jump right to allowance energy.  It is by accepting and looking at the need behind the resistance that you dissolve it and that frees up the space to allow.

That is the essence behind the saying permission to resist is permission to process. Process means to accept the ugly, give the resistance a voice in order to see what it needs. Love yourself for resisting.  Say, I love myself in doubt, in fear, in _____”.  I love myself for resisting change.  That statement alone changes the energy.  Once you love yourself right where you are, you see you.

Ask yourself what it is you really need. If you stopped resisting what would free up in your life, energy, perspective?  What do you really need that underlies the resistance and how can you provide that for yourself?  Once you see you, you quit asking others to see you (and quit drama, trauma, blame, shame).  There is a breath and you can identify what you need. Your attention shifts to understanding and getting your needs met and in doing so you are now in allowance. You are allowing your needs to be met.  It is then you will begin to feel and see change.  Let resistance rip and in doing so it will RIP.

What is the Woo Woo Breakdown? 

Get over it!  Just love yourself.  There is a reason this happened.  Don’t take it so personally.  It is their problem, let it go.  These are examples of what I call “woo woo” statements.  You know some magic is in them, but you can’t crack the code and access the relief you are seeking.  They remain words without any tangible meaning.

I decided to create the Woo Woo Breakdown and bring some insight. Take these as seeds and tend your own garden, add your own comments or post a Woo Woo for Barb to breakdown.

Formula—-examples of the conversation, what others want, when say it, what they mean, need versus.  What you need.  What you can do for yourself.

Maybe yes, probably not. It is our job to know ourselves and ASK in a loving way what we need, prefer, like, want, desire, or require.  Don’t you like it when you don’t have to guess? You can focus right away on providing or explaining why you cannot meet this need and maybe even strategize on how you can help the other.

You don’t know what the other needs, feels, is thinking, why they did what they did or will do. You don’t. And they don’t know you either.  Each of us are so unique and on our own path it takes a lifetime of devoted self discovery to figure it out.  How can we expect others to do it for us? Don’t assume, ask.  Do it in a loving way detached from their ability to respond (it ain’t personal).

That goes for world events too.  We don’t know what happened between others, a cop and suspect, a politician and fill in the blank, a child and parent, or anyone else. We know what we need to know when we need to.  The rest we don’t need to know, to be love, grace, kind, forgiving, compassionate and of service giving our gifts. When we think we do need to know, we leave our business and control and get in to God’s and others- and that usually leads to suffering, misunderstanding and leaking of our own power.

That doesn’t mean we are ignorant of world events. Quite the contrary. We just acknowledge a universal truth.

Our job is not to save the world, but to save ourselves and that will change the world, one soul at a time.

What is the Woo Woo Breakdown? 

Get over it!  Just love yourself.  There is a reason this happened.  Don’t take it so personally.  It is their problem, let it go.  These are examples of what I call “woo woo” statements.  You know some magic is in them, but you can’t crack the code and access the relief you are seeking.  They remain words without any tangible meaning.

I decided to create the Woo Woo Breakdown and bring some insight. Take these as seeds and tend your own garden, add your own comments or post a Woo Woo for Barb to breakdown.

Formula—-examples of the conversation, what others want, when say it, what they mean, need versus.  What you need.  What you can do for yourself.

These two words have melded together in action in our society and it is causing division, suffering and harm.  Think about the last power struggle you were in, perhaps with a child, sibling, partner, peer, boss or contractor.  Some issue or concern that had the energy of “my way or the highway” a black and white decision perhaps, no win win only a winner and a loser.  The more there is a stake the more each side dug in their heels.  The possibility of finding common ground or common needs from which to build a solution is lost.

Relive one of these power struggles and you will find, in either you or the other or both parties when understanding was used synonymously as agreement.  It likely was never spoken, but energetically, if you understood the other there was a risk it would be perceived as an agreement and then you would lose.  And they energetically felt the same.

The moment that understanding is used the same as agreement is the exact moment there is no win win option, there can only be a winner and a loser.  In some cases, two parties start a relationship or discussion with this mistake. In other cases it develops along the way.  The result is the same, division and neither side getting what they need.

Understanding another, whether that is an opinion, action, choice, motive or you name it, means comprehension.  It means I hear what you are saying, requesting, need, feel, want, require for example, and I comprehend it.  It doesn’t have to make sense to me to understand it.  For a moment I can fully hear you, listen to you as if I was you and comprehend.  Not judge it, not make logic of it, not believe it and not agree with it – but just comprehend it.   You can understand something, something fully and not agree with it or agree with it.

Agreement is totally different than understanding.  Often, for agreement to occur, an understanding has also occurred.  You agree to things you understand, almost automatically or without acknowledgement.  But you also agree with things you do not understand.  That requires trust and faith but you have and will do that again. Remember a time when you allowed a friend, lover or child do something you did not understand but you agreed to it?

When we use understanding and agreement as equals we do a disservice to ourselves, others and what we might create or prevent together.  Pay attention to when disagree with someone but cannot create space to understand them that is using them as synonyms.  You fear that if you understand them and let them know, they will think you agree and your needs will not be met.  Pay attention when you are demanding someone agree with you when all you may need is understanding.  It will change what you ask for and how.  Pay attention to when you agree, notice your level of understanding in that agreement.  Pay attention when others are asking you for agreement, decipher if what they really want is understanding or agreement, and choose based on an evaluation of both.

What is the Woo Woo Breakdown?